Week 2 Standings
Bobby: 7-2 (13-7)
Ty: 1-8 (9-11)
Boatin’ Blake: 7-2 (15-5)
Tough week for Ty and the investors at TSI, as they went winless in standard predictions with the only win coming in the Army-Michigan lock. Bobby and Blake continue to tear it up from last season, going 7-2 and staying close atop the standings. Week 3 features much better matchups in the Big 12 and more challenges ahead.
(Editor’s Note: Blake’s Picks Will Be Coming Later Due To Pirate-Lawyer Stuff)
Stanford @ #17 UCF (UCF -7.5)
Bobby: Stanford is a picture of a team that is riding high off its own brand. To be fair, I believe this is the case with pretty much any good Pac 12 team.
The Cardinal are walking into a buzzsaw here. After two straight undefeated regular seasons that resulted in zero Playoff bids, UCF will be chomping at the bit to take on a Power 5 team in the regular season.
While I don’t think the Knights are as good as they’ve been in the past two years, The Bounce House will be absolutely rocking. UCF, -7
Ty: Stanford vs. UCF is a game that really parallels Oklahoma High School football so let’s jump into a comparison.
Stanford vs UCF is directly analogous to Casady School vs. Heritage Hall, one is a nationally recognized academic powerhouse (Casady/Stanford), the other is basically a for profit daycare for teens (UCF/Heritage).
Basically, Brains vs ‘Muh Sportz’, but not even sports good enough to hold up on the national/state scale. UCF is decent, but they aren’t beating ‘Bama or Clemson, and Heritage sure isn’t winning out against Tulsa Public teams.
Really this is an obvious pick.
Heritage Hall UCF wins the game, but we all know who wins at life. Its not like UCF or Heritage have Alumni in The Bee Movie. 🤷♂️ UCF, -7
Boatin’ Blake: UCF, -7
#20 Washington State v. Houston (WAZZU -8.5)
Bobby: This is a Spider-Man meme game if I’ve ever seen it. Dana Holgorsen and Mike Leach have history together, similar personalities and practically the same offense. Both Houston and Washington State feature high powered offenses, bright red primary colors and are called Cougars. The two schools, despite being massively far away from each other, are intrinsically tied together. It’s a tough game to pick. However, there is one major difference here: D’Eriq King. While King was decent against OU a few weeks ago, I still think the guy is incredible. The Coogs keep it close with the Cougs and get the cover. Houston, +8.5
Ty: What a matchup of coaches! This should honestly be a recurring rivalry. The ‘Cougs of WSU vs. the UCF of Texas that isn’t TxSt. #TxStGangGangGang (Admittedly, I could have presented a better nickname for Houston but who cares, I hate them.)
Houston is of course, coached by none other than Dana “Rogaine” Holgorsen and because of that its time for a little Deutsche lesson.
Deutsche features many compound words, as many of us are aware. Compound words are able to better articulate in a word, a thought that requires an entire sentence in English. One such compound word is Backpfeifengesicht.
Backpfeifengesicht is a combination of Backpfeife meaning slap in the face, and Gesicht which roughly translates to outward appearance. Backpfeife and Gesicht together make Backpfeifengesicht which translates to a face that needs to be slapped, or a slappable face.
Old Rogaine is a perfect example of this. Das Washington State, -8.5
Boatin’ Blake: *Insert something about how Mike Leach is a fellow pirate* Washington State, -8.5
Texas Tech @ Arizona (Tech -2.5)
Bobby: Texas Tech is the king of narrow covers. They got a garbage-time backdoor touchdown in their first game against FCS South (writing this on the plane so that’s just gonna have to be their name) and got a half point cover against UTEP.
So why on Earth would I ever take Arizona and Kevin Sumlin, who have made a habit of constantly letting me down?
I wouldn’t and will not. Red Raiders by a field goal exactly. Texas Tech, -2.5
Ty: Bruh, Arizona is ass, Kevin Sumlin is ass and Texas Tech quarterback Alan Bowman hasn’t popped a lung yet. Texas Tech, -2.5
Boatin’ Blake: Texas Tech, -2.5
TCU @ Purdue (PUR -2)
Bobby: Our policy for the Weekend Spread is to grab the lines at opening. While the line has swung completely around to TCU’s side, my take on this game has not changed. TCU, quarterback issues and all, is going to absolutely POUND Purdue. If I was fast enough, I would have placed everything I own on dem Frogs, moneyline. TCU, +2
Ty: *Entire segment redacted by the FBI* TCU, +2
Boatin’ Blake: TCU, +2
Iowa @ Iowa State (IOWA -2)
Bobby: Biiiig shouts to our friends in Ames for getting their first College Gameday. As such, I believe Jack Trice Stadium will be absolutely raucous with farmer loaded up on Busch Light and chili. Is this a “let ‘er fly” pick? Of course. I still don’t care. Iowa State, +2
Ty: Iowa does the wave to the children’s hospital, while ISU is coached by Matt Campbell, who is just an off-brand, cowardly version of Bo Pelini. Iowa, -2
Boatin’ Blake: Iowa State, +2
Oklahoma State @ Tulsa (OSU -14)
Bobby: I was completely in on the Pokes earlier in this week before Boone Pickens passed. Now I’d consider it an absolute lock. OSU rolls big for Boone. This line never any sense in the first place. Oklahoma State, -14
Ty: This was going to be a segment on Tulsa’s annual beatdown by OSU and/or OU, but we have more important things to talk about.
On September 11th, 2019, T. Boone Pickens passed away. T. Boone was an alum of OSU, and a lifelong fan. OSU owes nearly everything they have today to T. Boone.
T. Boone is a classic American corporate raider. In the 1980s he was a pirate to energy companies, first with his energy company Mesa Petroleum and later his hedge fund BP Capital (Boone Pickens Capital, not British Petroleum). He developed celebrity status, not unlike many other prominent corporate raiders, such as Michael Milken, the fictional Gordon Gekko, and to a lesser extent, OU’s Michael F. Price.
He even graced the cover of Time Magazine in March of ’85, which was a huge deal in the age of print magazines.
T. Boone remained a raider through the 80s and 90s, before founding BP Capital in 1997. Through BPC’s two subsidiary funds, T. Boone made substantial gains through energy investments.
BPC was known to have large positions in Halliburton, ExxonMobil, and other major energy names. In 2006, T.Boone earned $990 million from BPC and earned $2.7 BILLION in 2007 as BPC grew 24% in just one year.
As he stepped back from his raiding days, T. Boone remained in the public eye by becoming an active and outspoken donor to politics, universities, and various other humanitarian causes. It is estimated that T. Boone gave over a billion dollars to charity, with over $500 million going to Oklahoma State.
Most notably, T. Boone gave Mike Gundy $30 to get a haircut in his will.
This game against instate rival Tulsa will be the first time that OSU takes the field without T. Boone flying in on his G550 to cheer them on. The Pokes will be playing in his honor and wearing helmet stickers all season long to commemorate him.
Oklahoma State has a potent offense, and in T.Boone’s honor they are going to thump Tulsa. I would bet OSU by 90 if I could. Oklahoma State, -14
Boatin’ Blake: Oklahoma State, +14
North Carolina State @ West Virginia (NCST -7)
Bobby: West Virginia STINKS. While I was on the fence a bit last week about whether or not that James Madison game was just a tough early challenge or proof that the Mountaineers were going to be bad, Missouri confirmed my suspension.
I don’t know if NC State is any good, but I know they are at least seven points better than this dumpster fire. North Carolina State, -7
Ty: MY NC State Wolfpack travels up country roads to the land of fat and sadness. This pick is purely personal to me, as WVU has screwed me for the last time. NC State (really cool campus btw) takes the W in Morgantown and covers easy. North Carolina State, -7
Boatin’ Blake: North Carolina State, -7
Kansas State @ Mississippi State (MSU -8.5)
Bobby: I can’t believe I’m saying this and I know it’ll probably probably doom this team, but I’m a believer in this Kansas State team. Skylar Thompson has been incredibly sharp, leading the country in QBR so far.
We will see if the ‘Cats can keep it up or not, mainly because both teams they’ve faced were awful, but I like them to cover against a not very good Mississippi State team. Don’t be shocked if they pull off the W in Starkville. Kansas State, +8.5
Ty: The wily cats travel to Starkvegas to take on the cowbell ringin’ Bulldogs. Starkville isn’t a particularly difficult place to play, but Mississippi State isn’t exactly a pushover either. KSU has been promising, but I don’t think that they will pull out a W against an SEC West team (sorry not sorry, but KSU ain’t s***). MS. St. by at least ten. Mississippi State, -8.5
Boatin’ Blake: Mississippi State, -8.5
#5 Oklahoma @ UCLA (OU -22.5)
Bobby: The early line of OU -17 might have been one of the biggest misfires I’ve ever seen. UCLA isn’t just bad, they might be one of the worst Power 5 teams in the country.
While the extra 5.5 does make me pause for a second, I think the Sooners are too good, too focused and too willing to stomp out a major brand on national TV. Oklahoma, -22.5
Ty: OU travels to sunny Los Santos to take on the UC-L-L-A Bruins (wtf is a bruin?). UCLLA is a proud university, with a rich football tradition. OU scheduled UCLLA thinking that they would be a huge top 10 marquee matchup, that has not come to fruition. OU easily takes the W and covers a measly 22.5 point spread. Oklahoma, -22.5
Boatin’ Blake: Oklahoma, -22.5