Weekend Spread

Weekend Spread: Week 2

Week 1 Standings

Bobby: 6-3 (6-5)

Ty: 7-2 (8-3)

Boatin’ Blake: 6-3 (8-3)

Week 1 saw great success for all three pickers, with Ty taking the narrow one game edge over Bobby and Blake, despite missing on his Wildcard pick. Ty and Blake sit atop the leaderboard, with Bobby only two games behind. With two big matchups (and a lot of crappy Big 12 games), who will pull ahead?

The Wildcard

Bobby: Oregon State @ Hawaii (Hawaii -6.5)

This game is the perfect combination of the takes I got the most right (Oregon State being poo poo) and the most wrong (Hawaii on island being overrated) so far this season.

Oregon State is big time screwed here. Arizona, a slightly better team, did abysmal on island. After seeing what Oklahoma State did to them in Corvalis last Thursday, the Beavers have no chance on island. Rainbow Warriors, BIG. Hawaii, -6.5

Ty: Army @ #7 Michigan (UM -23)

Choo, choo here comes the easy money train! ARE YOU KIDDING ME MICHIGAN BY 23?!? Army is coming to town with the triple option train, and I’m putting the Wolverines on upset alert. That isn’t that probable, but UM certainly isn’t going to win by 23. Army, +23

Boatin’ Blake: Wake Forest @ Rice (WF -18)

(Editor’s Note: Just go to 13:35 of The Captain’s Log)

#12 Texas A&M @ #1 Clemson (CLEM -17.5)

Bobby: You’re really daring me to take Texas A&M here, aren’t you Vegas? I have a lot of confidence in Clemson to get a solid win here, but 17.5 just seems like a bit much here.

This game won’t be nearly as close as last year’s thriller, but it won’t be a great one either. The Aggies will hang around juuuuust long enough to get a narrow cover, which will probably result in them hanging a banner at the facility in excitement. Texas A&M, +17.5

Ty: Valued intelligent sports outcome investors, let me first congratulate you for choosing to put your hard-earned cash with TSI. As everyone is aware TSI blew away Bobby and Blake in the first week of sports outcome investment.

This week TSI remains cautiously optimistic for future returns. This second week of the CFB season will be a turbulent one. Last week we saw that in the storm you want Ty driving the ship, not that silly pirate boy. Where do we need to sail the ship this week? TOWARDS THE F****** RETURNS, this is what the other two commentators don’t understand.

This first game is the game that hands down should have gotten College Game Day, that’s right it’s A&M (losers) at Clemson (Scoobs in orange). The line here is ridiculously low, A&M would have 5 losses if they simply played within the state of Texas, does anyone think that they will beat Clemson?

Travis Etienne the humble hero will put up legendary numbers, and Trevor “Sarah Jessica Parker” Lawrence will snap and put up numbers fitting for the #1 team’s starting QB. Clemson EASILY takes the W here and a Clem -17.5 line IS A JOKE! Ha ha ha very funny, but seriously this is free money, throw the mortgage on Clemson here, then take out a loan using your organs as collateral and put that on Clemson too. Clemson, -17.5

Boatin’ Blake: Ugh this is the week I have to join the Axis of Evil and root for two of my least favorite programs of all time. I love money and glory more than my hate for A&M, so I am rolling with the Aggies on this one.

Jimbo Fisher is very familiar with Dabo from his FSU days and people forget how close last years game was in College Station. I live in Aggie Country and I don’t know if I am mentally strong enough to hear how good this A&M team is if they win, but I am tired of Clemson making the playoff. Aggies get the cover. Texas A&M, +17.5

#6 LSU @ #9 Texas (LSU -5.5)

Bobby: Another game I absolutely hate. This is a tough one because I don’t quite trust either of these teams at all.

Much of the debate this week on Sooner Twitter has been whether or not we should root for Texas. Personally, I think there are a few scenarios where it’s okay to silently, mildly, pull for the Horns.

  • It directly benefits OU. Not “oh the Big 12 looks good with a win here) benefits, but rather “this advances OU in the Big 12 race and eliminates someone ahead of them”.
  • You picked them to win in an online blog or exchanged money in the hopes of winning more money.
  • You lowkey want a big time, high stakes, Red River game. This is the most dubious of reasons, but still one I hold sympathy though.

And that’s the list. Also, if Texas loses, you cannot be upset as Texas losing is always pretty funny.

Anyways, this game is about as even as it gets in my mind. Both are frauds, but the Longhorns playing at night against a big non-conference foe is something that is hard to pick against. I don’t trust LSU enough to give up any points. Texas, +5.5

Ty: College Gameday is in Austin this week for UT v. LSU and we here at TSI are beyond overjoyed to see longtime friend of good vibes Matthew McConaughey will be on set. When my analysts and interns applied the SMPG to this game we came up with a clear winner.

Texas is a clear lock here, we here at TSI recommend taking a large position in this game, per our analysis Texas is a clear lock here for the win, so a LSU -5.5 line makes this an even safer investment. LSU is a tremendous team, and a real threat to anyone, but so is Texas.

A healthy “Trill Sammy” should help the Longhorns pick apart LSU’s D, and UT is apparently “DBU” LOL so they better not allow a single passing TD. Texas takes the W and covers, but deep down I just want LSU’s band to play “Neck”. Texas, +5.5

Boatin’ Blake: Let’s just rip the band aid off and get to my second “Axis of Evil” pick. This is a straight numbers pick for me. As a head coach, Tom Herman has gone 12-3-1 ATS the spread as an underdog. You are a fool to bet against this trend….. AN ABSOLUTE FOOL!!!!!! Also, everybody is on the LSU hype train while nobody is on the brakes.

Joe Burrough (or however you spell his name) is being treated like Johnny Manziel or Tim Tebow, but in reality he is more like a Brandon Allen or Blake Sims. Take the UT money line and spread here and reap the profits. Texas, +5.5

UTEP @ Texas Tech (Tech -34.5)

Bobby: Texas Tech showed some promise in their Week 1 rout over Montana State, so much so that they ran up the score on the poor Bobcats with a last second touchdown from Alan Bowman who probably shouldn’t have been in the game in the first place. This score soiled my cover.

I’m not sure if I should pick against Tech out of spite, or learn from my mistakes and pick them against a truly awful UTEP team that had to hold on to dear life against Houston Baptist?

I’m going to be measured here and pick Texas Tech, mainly because I would definitely get screwed with this line. Texas Tech, -34.5

Ty: Valued investors, while I will never mislead you, TSI has not been able to determine a definitive analysis for this game. We here at TSI have tried a variety of proprietary and public analysis strategies and tools to determine a cover, and we are not able to say with any degree of confidence who it will be.

TSI’s official recommendation is to avoid this game as it is a very toxic investment that has a low potential for returns and a high potential for losses. Texas Tech does have a fairly well regarded QB, but they are still unproven without the perfectly 50/50 Kliff Kingsbury.

TSI does not believe that Texas Tech has enough to get up 35, even on UTEP, but UTEP is absolutely TERRIBLE. Herein lies the question, do we really count on post Leach TTU? No, no we don’t. UTEP, +34.5

Boatin’ Blake: The above was my reaction to see this game on the slate. God, I am ready for conference play because the fact that I am spending my valuable time evaluating this game is insanity. You know what, I am rolling the dice on this one and going with the Miners. UTEP, +34.5

Coastal Carolina @ Kansas (KU -9.5)

Bobby: Kansas did in fact get a win last week, but it was far from an encouraging performance against Indiana State. Coastal Carolina isn’t a great team, but they are better than the trash that Indiana State is. If the line was KU -7, I’d probably call it a push, but give me the Chanticleers in a close cover. Coastal Carolina, +9.5

Ty: Valued investors, the only three things to count on in this life are death, taxes, and Kansas winning four or more games of football this year. KU already has the first dub of the season, and their win streak will continue here. Expect KU to be a decent investment in this game due to the low line and a tremendous investment in the future as an underdog. Kansas, -9.5

Boatin’ Blake: For the first time since I was a young tot, Kansas could possibly go on a two game win streak (Editor’s Note: Extremely Dennis Reynolds voice: Two Games?). Kansas struggled heavily vs an FCS opponent last week and I don’t think this week will be any better.

The Les Miles effect will take at least 4 years to have any effect and Kansas will remain the whipping boy of the Big 12 for the time being. Coastal Carolina is also a very Boatin’ Blake style of team so give me the Chanticleers. Coastal Carolina, +9.5

West Virginia @ Missouri (Mizzou -14)

Bobby: Both of these teams looked atrocious Week 1. West Virginia narrowly escaped with a win against FCS James Madison and Missouri flat out lost to Wyoming.

Ty: TSI investors let me just tell you, this one is personal. I HATE Mizzou, I hate their colors, I hate their vibes, I hate their mascot, I hate their school, and most of all I hate their dumb ass abbreviation or whatever, like what is a Mizzou? As part of game related research TSI used something called “the internet” to look up what a Mizzou is.

The “Internet” is kind of like a library or something, anyways on the “internet” my analysts found something called “Urban Dictionary”. Urban Meyer is a very successful coach, so we went to his dictionary for answers.

When we searched Mizzou in Urban’s dictionary we found several answers. Then we remembered that Baker Mayfield never played Mizzou, Baker Mayfield also wore number 6. 6, Mizzou was once ranked 6th, this led us to the number 6 definition in Urban’s Dictionary. 

Mizzou (meh-zu) noun

A slang term for failure.

Examples:

  1. I couldn’t get into DeVry so I went to Mizzou.
  2. Mizzou didn’t even make the NIT
  3. I cant spell Missouri, so ill just write Mizzu
  4. I go to Mizzou, I am impotent.
  5. My mom is my sister, I must go to Mizzou.

#failure #embarrassment #impotency #syphilis #incest

We can clearly tell from Urban Meyer’s own definition that Mizzou is NOT the move here. WVU looked terrible last week, but they didn’t let us down, its time to buckle up and take a ride down the country roads. This pick is made easier by the ridiculous Mizzou line, WVU gets the cover. West Virginia, +14

Boatin’ Blake: Everybody was all over Kelly Bryant this summer and was drooling over him. I really did not understand the hype because while he was at Clemson, I called him the Storm Trooper because he had about the same success rate at hitting his target.

However, this West Virginia teams is BAD this year and I think Mizzou does not want to be embarrassed two weeks in a row; give me the Tigas. Missouri, -14

Bowling Green @ Kansas State (KSU -23)

Bobby: Last season, Jamison employed a strategy where he would repeatedly bet against Kansas State until they eventually failed to cover. It took him until Week 9 to properly pick a Kansas State line.

Needless to say, even though Bill Snyder is no longer head coach, his teams seem to be equally as slippery to pick. I feel like I’m doomed either way here, so give me Kansas State to cover. Kansas State, -23

Ty: KSU vs. a school for bowling? I’m assuming that Bowling Green is not a reference to going to a bowl game. Also, is green a reference to money? Are they literally telling us to pick them for cash?

Hard to tell if you ask me. TSI incorrectly picked the KSU game last week, so let’s just take a shot in the dark here. Again TSI recommends that you not take any meaningful position in this game, but if you do Bowling Green its in the name. Bowling Green, +23

Boatin’ Blake: Last week, I saw K-State play inspired in memory of their late coach Bill Snyder. This is a team of destiny that is playing in his loving memory. Wildcats by a billion. Kansas State, -23

UTSA @ Baylor (BU -27.5)

Bobby: Ugh, this week sucks. I think the Bears have a four touchdown cover in them though. Baylor, -27.5

Ty: Baylor is ass. UTSA, +27.5

Boatin’ Blake: I am calling this game Fort Knox because I cannot put enough locks on this game. Baylor is going to truck this team and put the 50 burger on them.

Vegas messed up by giving a line so low to a team that is considered by many the dark horse of the Big 12. I am not as high on Charlie Brewer, but this UTSA team isn’t in the same league as the Bears. Sailor Bear for the win. Baylor, -27.5

South Dakota @ #4 Oklahoma (OU -36.5)

Bobby: There are many FCS teams that can sneak up on a good D1 team. South Dakota is not one of them.

This defense will be scared out of their mind of embarrassing Alex Grinch, therefore I see an all around effort to keep the Coyotes at or under a field goal. The first team offense will do their thing and the backups will try to make the most of this opportunity to play significant time on Owen Field. Sooners with a comfortable cover, providing us plenty of time to watch the fourth quarter of the Axis of Evil Bowl in Austin. Oklahoma, -36.5

Ty: As is TSI’s recommendation for all OU games please read The Schooner Blog’s in-depth analysis and listen to The Schooner Pod. The line here is ridiculously high, and TSI does not believe that it will be met.

My opinion on OU games is that if I pick OU not to cover I will either be correct, or presently surprised. I believe that OU can get the cover, but I don’t believe that OU will continue to run up the score past 21 or 28. South Dakota, +36.5

Boatin’ Blake: I would default to the Schooner Blog boyz on the analysis for this game because I honestly know nothing about this South Dakota team. OU’s defense is bad, but there is no way South Dakota takes advantage of it. Can’t wait to watch OU cover on some guys Twitch stream. Oklahoma, -36.5

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