Everything is Awful: A Recap

(Warning: Not Safe for Grandmommy and Future Employers. Left in Tact for Full Impact)

I don’t think burning the alternate jerseys is enough. I think we need to set the town on fire and hit reset.

OU doesn’t lose to Iowa State. Yet, about an hour ago the Sooners dropped an inexplicable, puzzling and frankly depressing game to the Iowa State Cyclones, bringing their all time win total to 6.

  • We were all too cocky about this one. I thought Iowa State’s offense, with an anemic Jacob Park had no shot at moving the ball against OU. What I didn’t know was their linebacker and 3rd string quarterback would devastate Oklahoma’s defense all day long.
  • The cornerback play is simply abysmal. I mean just so bad. I didn’t get to say much about it against Baylor, but the soft trend is becoming an identity.
  • Offensively, Oklahoma looked lost after losing Abdul Adams and CeeDee Lamb. Everything looked bland and sloppy with Baker needing to bail out constant plays.
  • This game is a prime example of why you can’t expect any college football team, outside of the gulags in Tuscaloosa, to run the table. Teams are populated with dumb, unfocused college kids that like to get drunk, have fun and procrastinate. I would know because i’m one of them. Fucking up prep for Iowa State is like skipping racketball class for three weeks and showing up for a midterm hungover from Logie’s. It just won’t work.
  • Speaking of Logie’s, there should be a self-imposed team wide ban from there if these guys care about winning a title. You can’t make “ATL” shirts in preseason and then hit up the bars on Thursday and tell me you’re focused.
  • The Playoff hopes technically aren’t over, but something needs to change.
  • Hell of a damn game from Iowa State. They have heart, something the Sooners apparently left planted in the Block O a thousand miles from here. It sure hasn’t be around since.

MVP: Anyone with liquor/bleach access.

LVP: Pick anyone. Mike Stoops, the corners, Baker, the refs, marketing intern Mattie Briscoe, the Ref Nek with the tiny flag, God, yourself, people who left after the second drive, Austin Seibert, the free Chick-Fil A kick lady, the burnt out scoreboard section, me for thinking this was a blowout, global warming or the creator of football for subjecting us to this torture. Your call.

Up Next: OU-Texas. I think i’m going to be sick.

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Author: Bobby Howard

Owner at The Schooner Blog. Football, basketball, beer.

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